Abstinence Only Ads?

Brent Finnegan -- February 6th, 2009

The back page ad for The Artful Dodger’s Anti-Valentine Day party on the current issue of Rocktown Weekly includes a note that says, “Complimentary Intimacy Safety Devices.” Here’s what the ad was supposed to look like. Dodger owner Chris Clark said that the original ad was rejected by Rocktown because the paper didn’t want to print an ad that promoted “free condoms.” Clark said that revised versions, including “free love glove” and “free Johnny raincoats” were also rejected. Apparently “complementary intimacy safety devices” passed the test.

78 Responses to “Abstinence Only Ads?”

  1. K J, I see your point. Sounds like you have front line perspective on this.

    However, I still think that the “decline of virtues” over the ages is a farce. I think it’s more a lifting of the facade. Is promiscuity more rampant now than in the 1950s? Or is it just more out in the open?

  2. David Miller says:

    First, the Dodger is 21up. Second I challenge you to prove your statement

    “Now shcools like HHS have a nursery, and girls TRY to get pregnant. Once they go on to higher education – hooking up – “just happens” “got too drunk” “I was bored”.”

  3. Adam Sharp says:

    Is it just adding fuel to the fire to mention that today the DN-R had a full color Hole in the Wall ad on a back page with no other color ads?

    “Free condoms” might be suggestive, but a red ad in a sea of black and white grabs the attention.

    Advertising porn is OK but saying “condoms” is not?

  4. Lowell says:

    53 posts, on topic, and relevant.
    And this is the norm for this blog…
    Congratulations Hburgnews folk, you provide a much needed outlet for thoughtful conversation.

    And thank you…

  5. K J says:

    Dave, I realize that the Artful Dodger is 21 and up, so are young adults.

    The comment you referenced above of mine was ansereing Brents question/statement. Pre-teen, teen catagory.

    I think it’s important to teach all ages about being safe if they are not going to obstain totally. People have been fooling around since the beginning of time, young and old. Now it’s just more in your face. And what the pre-teen/teen age group thinks is intimate, or reserved for special people, is way different. And quite often carries over into their young adult years – if not adult years.

  6. K J says:

    Also Dave, the only way I could prove my comment is for you to talk with the youth I talk with.

  7. The Valley Progressive says:

    I’m curious as to why my previous comment was deleted. I expect that from the lesser, more pretentious, site like….well, you know, but not this site. Please educate me as to my great offense, your rules are thus, “No anonymous, libelous, or name-calling comments. Please limit yourself to a single screen name and a legitimate email address. Thank you.” I did not break those rules anymore than other posters.

    Admin note: VP – If yours was the comment I deleted several days ago, it wasn’t really horrible, but it did end up in the moderation queue and call someone a name directly, so I had to delete it because of the rules. I’m not sure if the one I deleted was yours, though.
    -Renee

  8. Barnabas says:

    I’m gonna have to say that while your connection to the youth is touching I sincerely doubt that this generation has larger sexual problems then previous generations. What it does have is a larger societal problem. Our society is more open to many things and allows those things that were done in secret to be done more openly. Girls don’t disappear to their Aunts house in Maine for a year, they’re staying in their hometown and have their baby’s. If you want to fix the problem with kids you need to work on the next generation of parents. It may sound cruel but what ever problem this generation has is not going to be fixed, especially not by keeping them from having exposure to Jimmy Hats. The youth of today are who they are, I was who I was. At this age they just need support and protection, direction is almost entirely lost on them. It was Francis Xavier who said “Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man.”

    ((To be clear it is not just this generation specifically but all generations of teens/young adults, that I feel this way about.))

  9. David Miller says:

    KJ, understandable. I’m simply wary of unsupported data that is presented as fact instead of opinion. No disrespect intended.

  10. Jamie Smith says:

    There was a great basketball game at JMU this p.m. Maybe that’s why this idiocy ended at 12:45.

  11. Bill says:

    My oh my, what’s happened to the 1950s and the back seat of my chevy? Come on people- unwanted pregnancy is THE major cause of abortion. So when human beings get together, quite often there’s a natural tendency that harmones go to work. And my friends on the right seem to think we can just bury our collective heads in the sand and “just say no”- better to at the least, prevent an unwanted pregnancy with the use of a tubliar article of expandable latex than to have to counsil another young woman about about an unwanted pregnancy or an STD. I will agree that abstinance will prevent pregnancy, but there hasn’t been much abstinance throughout ALL of human history. It would be interesting to see if a major ad purchaser of the DNR like Kroger or Rite-Aid would have been told to change their ads if they would have advertised free condoms.

  12. TM says:

    I once heard that every generation thinks they invented nostalgia and sex.

  13. Lowell says:

    To once again use the style of my good friend Shannon:

    “unwanted pregnancy is THE major cause of abortion”

    …bore repeating. Yada, yada…

    Well said Bill.

  14. JGFitzgerald says:

    CISD. I’m sorry, I just can’t quit typing those letters. CISD.

  15. Thanh says:

    Valley Progressive. We (hburgnews adminstrators) can’t figure out what happened to your deleted comment. (Renee may have deleted your comment as she explained above beneath your questions, but she’s not sure if it was your comment she deleted because of name calling.)

    In any case, if you don’t believe your comment was libelous or name-calling, I welcome you to repost your comment again. Should there be a problem with it, we’ll let you know. Otherwise, happy posting!

  16. The Valley Progressive says:

    Thanks Thanh, I guess the internet gnomes are at it again…

  17. Renee says:

    Brent cleared it up and said he was the one that deleted it for name-calling. So it wasn’t the internet gnomes after all :)

  18. First of all, the charge that the ad was encouraging pre or out of marital sex. Did the ad specify the marital status of those being targeted? How do we know that nice, heterosexual married couples were not being targeted? Might they not be attracted by an offer of CISDs?

    To Republitarian, who brought up the allegation about “gay bar.” Last time I checked, it seems that libertarians are not anti-gay rights, but that the official Republican Party platform did seem to be. So, maybe this is a moment where you can clarifyL are you more Republican or more libertarian?

    And as for this business about young people today doing all this stuff that all us old codgers did not, well, when I was in seventh grade, two girls in my class got pregnant (we are talking 1961). No, I was not responsible, but I suspect that there are quite a few of us geezers that a lot of the youngsters would have to work overtime in order to catch up with in the badly behaved department, not to get too nostalgic about the 60s or anything, or upsetting too much any of those new arrivals in town… hah! :-)

  19. Renee says:

    “Did the ad specify the marital status of those being targeted?”

    Well, it was an “Anti Valentine’s Day” ad, so… unless you know of many couples that don’t celebrate V-day in some way or another, I think the target is singles. It also says “no ring, no commitment” so yeah…

  20. mikekeane says:

    Shame on Rocktown! I’m glad this issue came up so local business owners can consider it when choosing advertising outlets. Perhaps a large fall in their ad revenue soon might hammer home the point that restricting the use of the word “condom” was a poor choice. Condoms are for saving lives, preventing the spread of disease and preventing unwanted pregnancies – thus not a dirty word. I find it hilarious that there is even one person on here, Paul, who would change his buying habits based on this ad. I’m sorry for the dodger that they lost this one customer but If thats where he is coming from I suppose it would be inevitable that he would see art he found offensive, walk past the condom jar by the bathroom or perhaps the clientele would have turned him off. The funniest part of the whole thing is certainly “faster than speed dating”!!!

  21. Harvey Yoder says:

    My question is whether instant hookups, followed by inevitable breakups, are all the fun they’re cracked up to be. Is there something to be said for savoring love (with the love of ones life) as a lavish gift that just keeps on giving, and where one never has to ask, “How long must I lie here in bed after after copulation has been accomplished? Ten minutes? A couple of hours? After I sober up enough to drive home?”

    I know marriages have their problems, including our own, but after nesting together for almost 45 years, I wouldn’t trade trust-based love-celebrations for all the instant no-ring, no-commitment trysts in the world.

    And don’t let me even get started on the joys of having three grandkids.

  22. Renee says:

    That is really sweet, Harvey :) It’s great to hear relationship success stories in this age of such a high divorce rate. I’ve never understood the appeal of a ‘one night stand’ either. Thanks for sharing, and here’s to many more!

  23. David Miller says:

    Harvey, I respect your outlook but don’t see what your point is.

    If your point is to say that monogamy is good and that anything that differs is bad then I’d argue against you purely on principle. Monogamy is my preference but that in no way means that I get to tell people that I’m correct in my opinion and preference.

  24. David Miller says:

    but on a less cynical outlook than yesterday inspired into me; your sentiments are very sweet and I’m happy for you.

  25. Harvey Yoder says:

    I know there are many who hold that no beliefs regarding human behaviors are better or worse than any others, and that everything is purely a matter of personal opinion.

    I agree that when it comes to telling others they should be monogamous, that’s not my call to make. But as an educator I can at least point to evidence from the landmark 1995 University of Chicago study on “Sex in America” that found, to almost everyone’s surprise, that “the one group of adult females most likely to experience orgasm during intercourse with their primary partner was (gasp) conservative Protestant women. A full 32 percent of this group reported “always” experiencing sexual climax, far ahead of the 22 percent among females who have no religious affiliation.” Trust me, I wouldn’t quote this to support any particular religion, but I find it interesting, and less surprising, to note that the study also found that males and females in monogamous relationships led all other religious (and non-religious) groups in frequency of sexual intercourse as well.

    As a licensed psychotherapist who hears almost daily the stories of people who experience the heartbreak of random sexual hookups and breakups, I also feel led to use my influence to encourage people to think carefully about the consequences of their lifestyle and relationship choices. While experience is the best teacher, there is no need to have each individual learn everything in the hardest way possible.

    And as a person of faith, I also believe there is merit in reflecting on wisdom about relationships that has been passed down through the centuries, both in my own faith tradition and in that of others, realizing that none of us has the last word on everything in the wisdom-for-living department.

    Finally, as a lover, father and now a grandfather, I want to lend whatever influence I can based on the above in hopes of people I care about living their lives in the fullest and most satisfying ways possible. And if they can find a truly better way to “live happily ever after,” they have my full blessing.

  26. David Miller says:

    Totally respectable opinion, I only wanted to point out that we are not your patients ergo your advice was unsolicited in much the same as was my own writing :)

    I find myself torn between making crass comments and actually engaging the conversation. That being said, see you on the next thread

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